6 Ways to Stop Giving a Crap What Others Think and Live Your Best Life
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Do you care WAY too much what other people think about you? I do. Actually, I DID. I’m learning to love myself and not care about what others think about me now. Until recently, I would literally be in tears if I found out someone didn’t like me or thought negatively about me in any way. I’d try to make it right immediately, thinking that what they thought was more important than what I thought. Being a sensitive person sucks sometimes.
I’m changing my ways now. I’ve realized that it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of me because most people aren’t thinking of me anyway. They have their own insecurities to deal with. I’m much better off when I don’t listen to the noise outside of my own home. What my husband thinks matters to me, but I’m not going any further than that.
When I started down this road of self-love, I did some pretty drastic things. I got tattoos and dyed my hair bright red. I don’t regret that. I never felt more attractive and badass than when I had red hair, and I still love my tattoos. There were people in my life who cheered me on, and there were people who expressed their negative opinions of what I was doing. It felt so good to just be who I was regardless of anyone’s opinion. If red hair wasn’t so hard to keep, I’d still have red hair. I LOVED it! Here’s a picture the beloved red hair that I miss so much. Let’s have a moment of silence, shall we?
Whether it’s dying your hair and getting tattoos, starting a new business, starting a blog, getting out of debt, WHATEVER IT IS YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW, somebody somewhere is going to have something to say about it. Whether they like what you’re doing or not doesn’t concern you. Whatever they think about you is all about them, not you. Just be you, okay? Okay?
So how do you do that? How do you just be you and stop giving a crap what others think? Here are a few things that helped me start living my best life.
One: Realize that your true friends will love you no matter what
This one was hard for me simply because I don’t have very many friends. I’ve tried for years to get people to like me. I’ve desperately wanted friends who would stick with me through everything. I’ve gone so far as to changing myself — the way I look, my personality — to fit someone else’s expectations of me that I’ve made myself crazy.
It didn’t work anyway. If they don’t like me, they don’t like me. There is no need to change for anyone. You’re the only person who’s going to stick with you for the rest of your life. Be you, and love yourself for who you are. The right people will come along eventually if they haven’t already. I promise.
Two: Understand that other people are not thinking about you
One good way to not care what others are thinking about you is to realize that they actually aren’t thinking about you.
Let’s change the context here for a second. Who are you thinking about right now? Right this second, who are you thinking about? Let me guess: yourself. You’re thinking about yourself, your problems, your issues. You’re not thinking about anyone else.
Guess what. Everyone else is just thinking about themselves too.
Three: Remember that you can’t control what other people think about you
Like I mentioned before, people are going to have something to say about everything.
Whether you work outside the home or stay home, whether you breastfeed or bottle feed, whether you homeschool or send your kids to public school, whether you’re married or single, whether you want kids or not, whether have one kid or four, the kind of house you live in, how clean your home is, the car you drive — it really doesn’t matter what it is, someone else is going to have something to say about it whether it’s positive or negative.
The only thing you need to worry about is your likes and needs, what makes you and your own family happy. Nobody else is paying your bills. Nobody else is taking care of your children. Nobody else is living in your house or driving your car.
You can’t control what they think about you, and it doesn’t matter what they think anyway.
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Four: Realize that there are more important things to focus on
When we free ourselves of others’ opinions of us, it opens us up to think more about the things that really matter. Lending too much of our minds to opinions of others is a huge time waster.
Focus on the things that actually matter in your life. Maybe you’ve just started a new job or you’re going back to school. Maybe you’ve got little ones at home who need your attention. Maybe your business is suffering because you can’t get over what so-and-so said about you.
Let that crap go. Focus on the things that matter.
Five: Ask yourself why it matters to you so much what others think
Try to answer this question, and I bet you can’t come up with a good answer. I’m speaking from experience here.
Why does it matter if that person doesn’t like you?
Is that person important in your life?
What’s the worst thing that could possibly happen if they don’t like you?
I’ll tell you the worst that could happen: They just don’t like you. There. The worst has already happened.
Now what? You’re still breathing. You’re still here to do what you were created to do. Someone else’s opinion of you is not going to change anything. Keep living your life the same way you were before.
In the end, someone else’s opinion does not matter.
Six: Understand that caring what others think is holding you back from your best life
About eight years ago, I decided I wanted to start a blog (this one). I envisioned a place on the web moms could come to to be encouraged to do things they dreamed of.
I didn’t start this blog until September of last year (2018). Why? Because I was worried the people around me would think it’s stupid. Who am I to start something like this? What do I know? Why would I think the world needs another “mommy blog”?
Those are all the things I thought other people would think if I finally did the one thing I’ve wanted to do for so long. I really wish I hadn’t wasted eight years worrying about what other people MIGHT think about me.
A few months ago, an awesome mom who reads my blog and purchased my budget binder left a comment on my Facebook page telling me that she finally had her finances organized and had even paid off a credit card. I thought to myself, Yes! This is why I want to do this.
Who cares what anybody else thinks? This is important to me, and I’m not wasting another day giving all my attention the opinions of others because, at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter. It does not matter one tiny bit what anybody thinks about me or what I’m doing. What I’m doing is important to me, and that’s all the matters in the end.
A Free Gift to You
Those are the eight ways I changed my mindset about what other people think about me. Of course, it didn’t happen overnight. It took some time, but in the end I’m much better off.
I made a printable PDF list of all these points as a guide and reminder that you can post on your bathroom mirror, fridge, vision board, or anywhere else. You can download it in the free resource library!
I’d love to hear about how you deal with the opinions of others in the comments below!
I’m Kari, founder of Mom For More. Do you often lie awake at night dreaming about what it would be like if your family was debt-free? What if you could make that dream come true with a business that allowed you to stay home and be fully present with your babies? Mom for More teaches moms that they can start a home business, become debt-free, and gain more overall peace in motherhood. It equips moms with the tools they need to succeed in their finances, home businesses, and daily lives. You don't have to put your life on hold when you become a mother. It's okay to dream. It's okay to believe that you were made for more. I’d love for you to subscribe and follow along with me!